


Upon Entering the Botanist's Tardis

by Kittywitch



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Cerulean Revolution, Ceruleans, Companion as Doctor, Doctor as companion, Gen, Roleswap, Roleswap AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21966958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywitch/pseuds/Kittywitch
Summary: Dr. Smith, an English professor, in both senses of that phrase, meets an unusual woman and is welcomed into her home.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Upon Entering the Botanist's Tardis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [waylonjenningslittlefield](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=waylonjenningslittlefield).



Dr. Smith gawped. Because of who he was as a person, he gawped and chattered away very quickly as he did so.

“This is impossible! This is incredible! This is— this is— this is your boot room and I’m running around gawking at your ceiling.”

“It’s more of foryer, I suppose, but in general I call this the console room. I’ve got two boot rooms, but only one of them actually has boots.”

“What’s in your other boot room?”

“A portal between dimensions which takes less than a second to pass through. You’ve already done it, as a matter of fact,”

“I- I just passed through a wormhole into a different dimension?”

“Not dimensions as in planes of reality, dimensions as in the measurement of space. A large spaceship has been carefully placed so it fits within small box. Didn’t you notice that the door you entered was blue, wooden, and straight-sided, and the door you exited is a white polymer with a sort of… pinked edge between the doors?”

“I… I _had_ noticed that, miss Doe, but the doors sort of pale in comparison to the sheer grandeur of…” Dr. Smith spread his hands as if words had failed him, “The magnificent impossibility of this exquisite architecture which even now sends my mind reeling with a thousand sciences I nor any member of my species has yet been able to grasp, leaving me breathlessly terrified and delighted. I fully intended to bring up the doors at a later date.” Words, evidently, hadn’t failed him, but they were temporarily slowed by the queue.

The Botanist paused and let this wave of unnecessarily poetic excitement wash over her. Finally, she smiled wryly and spoke.

“I see you’re one of those quiet types.” she grinned.

“Most people don’t let me go on that long.”

“Oh, I’m hanging on your every word, Dr. Smith.” the Botanist smiled and leaned over the console. “How am I supposed to prove everything you said wrong if I didn’t hear it?”

“Then can I ask you one more question?”

“Only one? Is it about the doors?” she asked with a too-sweet grin.

“…is your name _really_ Jane Doe?”

“Is your name _really_ John Smith?”

“Yes.” he answered, sounding slightly offended. The Timelady was surprised.

“Really? Well, if we are using are our usual names, then you may call me the Botanist.”

“The Botanist.”

“That is what I said.” she responded crisply.

“And I suppose that accounts for all of…” he gestured at the room. The walls were covered in roundels, and in every roundel, there was a planter, and in each planter, there was a plant of some description. He thought he might be able to recognise about one out of ten of them. He believed he saw mistletoe growing in a planter hanging over the console, but he didn’t fancy pressing his luck by pointing that out. And it was a good thing he didn’t, as it happened, as he would have been pointing at the holly beside it; like many people, Dr. Smith was under the mistaken impression that holly was in fact mistletoe.

“Is ‘the Botanist’ your real name?”

“It’s the Botanist or Jane Doe, as far as you’re concerned.” the timelady replied tartly. The professor considered this. He decided not to press his luck and changed the subject.

“So this machine can go anywhere?”

“Anywhere and anywhen.” the Botanist said with a grin.

“Well… how about where you come from?” Dr. Smith asked. The timelady’s grin faded.

“Anywhere and anywhen but my home planet.”

“Why not?”

“Because we can’t.” she answered sharply. He didn’t like her tone, it sounded far too much like his students’. So he replied to it as if she was one.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t!” the Botanist snapped. She took a deep breath and looked away. “…both. I can’t and I wouldn’t if I could.” 

Dr. Smith’s tone softened.

“Why can’t you go back to your own planet?” he asked gently.

The Botanist’s eyes turned to the heavy blue robe hanging on the coat rack beside the door,  but her eyes unfocused and it seemed that her mind was back on Gallifrey.

“There was a revolution.” she admitted at length, “A sort of war among my own people—not that a human would probably recognise it as a war. From your perspective, it probably would look like some passive-aggressive office drama. But office drama on a global scale. Sharply worded memos and presentations, moving furniture about… a _lot_ of moving plants out of their containment areas.”

“Containment areas?” Dr. Smith asked.

“Animal life forms are messy, but they can be manipulated. But vegetable life… let’s just say it isn’t popular back home. Us Ceruleans were the only ones who could deal with plant at all. Or at least the only ones who wanted to.” the Bontanist explained, “My chapterhouse, we sort of started it… and we didn’t come out on top. Most of the Ceruleans stayed in the citadel, but as for me… I’ve never been the sort of be quiet about my opinions, and let’s just say I didn’t make any friends during the revolution, even among the other Ceruleans. We… _I_ just decided it would be better for everyone if I travelled for a few centuries, let everything cool down a bit.”

“Is that why…” Dr. Smith gestured at the plants.

“I couldn’t leave any of my samples on Gallifrey. They would have been destroyed. Even the Sotirodian Pepperleaf bush, a harmless and incredibly endangered species. I’ve got the last of it in my collection. A species would have been wiped out by my people… but it isn’t a sentient species, or even an _animal_ species, so apparently that doesn’t matter.” the Botanist explained bitterly. She bit her lip and continued, “Well, I _say_ harmless, but it’s really only on this side of edible, and has been known to cause blistering of the mouth and severe indigestion if consumed by most higher mammals; which wouldn’t be a problem if it wasn’t so tasty. If it wasn’t for my collection,it would have been harvested to extinction.”

She pointed at a bright orange and red plant behind her. Dr. Smith looked at it thoughtfully and took a few steps towards it.

“You said it has this effect on _most_ higher mammals. Does that or does that not include humans?” he asked.

The Botanist laughed.

“If you’re still interested in spending the school holiday travelling with me, Dr. Smith, I think we’ll get on _famously.”_

__

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short fic written to accompany an illustration. The fic was posted before the illustration, as it is much faster to write "The walls were covered in roundels, and in every roundel, there was a planter, and in each planter, there was a plant of some description. " than to draw it. The illustration will be added to this fic within the week.
> 
> The planet Sotirod, home of the Sotirodian Pepperleaf bush, is the word 'Doritos' backwards.


End file.
